


if you go, then so will I

by orphan_account



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 12:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7618135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Dead. They were all dead, and he was alone. This was how it had begun, a revolution dreamt and created and born from his ideals, and this was how it would end: with nothing left but himself and his shattered visions for a future. It was hard to believe that every one of his friends had been standing, fighting alongside him mere seconds ago. They had fought for a cause they had all believed in.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And now Enjolras would do the same.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But here he was.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Alone.</em>
</p>
<p>A short fic on Enjolras's thoughts and last moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	if you go, then so will I

**Author's Note:**

> _Days go on forever_  
>  _But I have not left your side_  
>  _We can chase the dark together_  
>  _If you go, then so will I_

'Shoot me.'

_Dead._ They were all dead, and he was alone. This was how it had begun, a revolution dreamt and created and born from his ideals, and this was how it would end: with nothing left but himself and his shattered visions for a future. It was hard to believe that every one of his friends had been standing, fighting alongside him mere seconds ago. They had fought for a cause they had all believed in.

And now Enjolras would do the same.

He flung what was left of his gun to the ground, the metal resounding against the floor, echoing in the silence. The soldiers made no sound, their guns raised. Enjolras folded his arms and glared at them.  _What are you waiting for._

He hadn't feared death. He had supreme confidence in his ability to lead and command victory. Defeat simply wasn't a part of the plan, but Enjolras had told himself that should the barricade fall and fail, this was how it would end. He would not surrender or so much as admit defeat. This was a cause he was ready to live, work, suffer and eventually die for. To die with dignity and honour.

He told himself before he didn’t fear death. But now, in his last moments, he thought that maybe, he might’ve been lying to herself all along. He had pictured his death, on more than one occasion. Dying among his friends. He wouldn’t have to be alone, and maybe that felt better. 

But here he was.

Alone.

He could feel the sting behind his eyes, but he steeled himself and stood even taller. He barely registered what the soldiers were saying.

'No.'

_Combeferre._

Solitude had never fazed him. It was all he had known, until some point, before he realised how much he needed the rest of his friends. They had been more than family.

_Courfeyrac._

What had he done before he had met them?

_Jehan._

How had he endured—no,  _revelled—_ in being alone for so long? 

_Feuilly._

It didn't matter.

_Bahorel._

He could no longer remember.

_Bossuet._

This wasn’t what he wanted.

_Joly._

This was _never_ what he wanted. Enjolras felt more detached and distanced from them than ever, destined to live and die alone.

'Did you kill the artillery sergeant?'

He lifted his chin a fraction and sneered, once again donning the mask of sheer conviction he had been so used to. _I do not fear you. I do not fear death._ For a second, he almost believed it.

'Yes.'

A command was given. The soldiers levelled their rifles at him.

This was how it should be.

He hadn't even realised he'd been holding his breath until a familiar voice called from behind.

'Long live the Republic! I am one of them.'

At first, Enjolras could not comprehend the situation. The words did not match the voice from which they came from. He never thought he would ever hear those words from him.

_Grantaire._

And yet.

He could've escaped. The soldiers would never recognised him. Had they heard anything Grantaire ever said, there wouldn't have been a sliver of doubt if he told them he wasn't part of the same cause Enjolras had fought for. He could run, like he always did, yet another cowardly move so  _predictably Grantaire,_  but Enjolras knew he wouldn't blame Grantaire for doing it. It would take conviction of the highest order to stand rooted in the face of death and choose it so willingly.

_'You are incapable of believing, of thinking, of willing, of living, and of dying.'_

Grantaire spent most of his time refuting all of Enjolras's ideals (and drowning himself in alcohol), but he had always been shot down immediately; not once had he proven Enjolras wrong, but here they were, and Grantaire had proven his last words to him wrong.

'Kill us both.'

He wouldn't have to be alone.

'Do you permit it?'

He couldn't wrap his head around the situation; all Enjolras heard was his voice whispering  _thank God, thank God_ and for once the man of persuasion and with the knack for stringing together words like ribbons bright couldn't think of anything good enough to encompass what he felt.

And so he chose to say nothing at all, taking Grantaire's hand and raising it, a final act of defiance and alliance.

_Enjolras's face is one of disdain. 'You do not believe in anything.'_

_'I believe in you.'_

_'Will you do me a service?'_

_'Anything.'_

A single smile, the resounding of rifles, the taste of blood in his mouth, and Enjolras breathed his last.

 

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic for Les Miserables. The title and lyrics are from Anthem of the Angels by Breaking Benjamin because I think I listened to the song on repeat for the entirety of me writing this.
> 
> Comments and/or constructive criticism are greatly appreciated, as well as if you happen to notice any errors in writing! I wrote this fairly quickly, so I might've missed some things out.


End file.
